翠絲的碎片人生 [電影節]

不知道是樣子或氣質問題，由 Ellen Page 擔演主角的電影總看得讓人心裡點點不平衡 —— 管是 Hard Candy 的變態小鬼、Juno 的未婚媽媽，或是 The Tracey Fragments (港譯 '翠絲的碎片世界') 裡人間失格的高中生… 她那童顏跟邪氣的眼神、老穿著 hoodie 個子小小的身影，彷彿象徵著不幸的降臨。

翠絲給浴簾包裹裸著身體，坐上巴士，去尋找弟弟。失蹤的弟弟，以為自己是條狗。各位，綁好安全帶，現在就走進翠絲精神狂亂的世界。翠絲問題多: 在家，爸會發惡，媽啪針又好酒；在學校，男女同學都凶，只因她平胸。她有男友，有精神科醫生，但最可靠的原來最毒。一個青春期噩夢。Ellen Page 翻轉女孩內心驚變全場，cult 片大導 McDonald 花了九個月施展剪接神功，切割畫面加 punk 樂，砌寫少女主觀律動心象。

Tracey (翠絲) 是否精神狂亂我們無從得知，螢幕上她的寂寞無助卻是無所遁形。她說 “Two retards shouldn’t have kids, oh no, that’s me”，她說 “there should’ve been abuses” 令情況更壞然而卻始終沒有發生在她身上。一切的無助感都是那樣地無力，她不滿，卻沒有一個確實的理由使不滿與憤怒變得合理。

弟弟智商有問題，她把他訓練成一條狗無可無不可地耍玩；弟弟單純地愛著她，生日也為她送上頸鋉逗她高興。而她卻為了心儀的男生拋下弟弟，被玩弄、給棄之如撇履後竟發現弟弟就此失踪不見。她後悔她恨自己但又沒法把罪疚感推到喜歡的男生身上，回家面對無能的父母，她更知道自己還不能崩潰。

就是在學校她也不討人愛受歡迎，甚至是大伙欺負排擠的對象。個子小小沒有反抗能力，就只得逆來順受把憤怒壓到心底，每天發夢過日神。家人朋友或愛人都得不到，她的世界除了自己再沒有其他人。於是一直都只有她自己的聲音在空氣裡迴盪，不是精神醫生說的 “you are delusional”，她只是要想像美好的事物讓生活好過一點。


滿目瘡痍的現實她逃避不了，甜美的想像世界就成了她唯一的庇蔭。現實殘酷沒有半點恩慈，她還是出盡全力拼命地掙扎。她沒有精神分裂，只是全世界人都逼她走往死角去。大家七手八腳地褫奪她的快樂她的人生令她甚麼也沒有 —— 沒有尊嚴沒有愛失去個人的價值，當你甚麼也沒有，連能失去的東西也沒有，自然就再也停不下來。因此末了她裹著毛毯啥也看不進眼內，如鬼魅般喃喃反覆道 “No one can stop me”。

雖然沒有人對 Tracey 作身體上的傷害 (畢竟她沒有真的被父親以皮帶鞭打也沒有被陌生人強暴)，大家對她精神上的傷害卻留下了永不磨滅的洛印 (以為得到 Billy Zero 的愛，原來自己只是泄慾工具；找不到弟弟掛電話回家希望母親原諒竟遭無情掛線，被母親遺棄；精神科醫生也不幫助她，還給她套上標籤認定她無藥可救)。翠絲的世界所以是碎片，全拜大家的冷漠與殘酷所賜。



然而這一切 troubled kid 的際遇並不能構成偉大動人的故事，以平常手法處理只會顯得平平無奇，Bruce McDonald 因此把 Tracey 的生活剪得細碎，顛倒次序不按牌理，讓她的現實與幻想跟內心世界共存於螢幕上，真亦假時假亦真，如萬花筒般迷亂觀眾的耳目和心。“My name is Tracey Berkowitz, 15, just a normal girl who hates herself.” 故事從她在巴士上的獨白開始 —— 旅程自她的內心出發，Bruce 的拼湊讓觀眾裡裡外外地看透 Tracey 的世界。

工程浩大的剪接出來的效果正好，更教人配服的是導演連聲音也剪得細碎，使畫面與劇情配合得水乳交融。此外，以Broken Social Scene的歌作配樂也加強了敍事效果，在在彌補了故事性不足的弱點。有人說 The Tracey Fragments 像 Broken Social Scene 灰灰藍藍的加長版 music video，我倒以為兩者像是找到另一半的完美契合，沒了彼此，他們就像沒有完整過。

Tracey 的世界紛沓零碎如雪花，隨末段初雪的畫面，觀眾的心也如灰矇的天色一樣低壓壓睛朗不來。一切彷彿都給困在心裡，就在她那句 “how’d you know what’s real, what’s not when the whole world is inside you head, cos what’s made up is pretty much better than what’s real anyway” 裡。


Background Music: Superconnected – Broken Social Scene

陰天 [濫讀]

Kubrick 甫進門的書架陳列一眾本地插畫師的小書，琳瑯滿目。當中有她的 IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE PERFECT, YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE ‘I will love you till you die’ 跟 WE ALL NEED SOMEONE TO KISS US GOODBYE。


















b. wing，畢業於英國 Middlesex University，於 2002 展開其裝置藝術及插畫事業。後獲 agnés b 菁萊，2003 年於 agnés b. Librairie Galerie 舉辦首個個人展，並在台北及東京的 agnés b. 作巡迴展覽。

主角 A 在書裡換了一件又一件的衣服，擔演著一個個不同的身份角色；畫旁一句句短短的自白反映出他的自我與詭異的幻想世界。他寫信給愛人，卻不知道那人其實是他自己。

一頁頁翻她的小書、他的故事，看她通過他喃喃夢囈，感覺她是個非常幸運的人 —— 從來只有得到大家寵愛的人才能如此自我。活在自己的世界裡，b. wing 筆下的 A 純真得有點不可思議；他對各種事物的想像與聯想雖然不著邊際，卻有著豐富的層次。本來繽紛的色彩跟目定口呆的小孩都不能引起我的興趣，但看他那漫不經心的說話，卻很扣人心弦。

關於自我 - can you tell me who I am? / mum said it’s terrible to go through life while wishing you were someone else. 關於讓我們抓狂的小事 - I’m very anti-social in a traffic jam. 關於無力感 - If you depressed, I’ll cheer you up, hopefully. / Maybe you have to lose everything and you’ll then realize you still have yourself 關於寂寞 - Phone me more. Please / I’d like to cry now. is that alright with you? / can anyone get me out of here? 關於所愛的人不了解自己 - sometimes, your silence is so loud 幽郁的心情餘音裊裊 - This is dedicated to my goldfish which died from overfeeding when i was seven, and I want to apologise for flushing it down the toilet bowl.

關於愛自己與愛別人

Dear B
Just for your information, I will walk to the Moon and be back if it makes you smile. I will talk to you just so I can hear your voice again. The other day, I heard that it was supposed to be the end of the WORLD this year (!) This made me think to Myself that I don’t want to DIE without you next to me. But the worst thing is, what if we both survived but we were still so FAR APART and didn’t know if the other was alive?
I guess I’d better walk to the Moon fast.
Wave and Smile
Wave and smile
A

我不知道短短兩本小書有否為她帶來商業上的成功，但她能把各種感受都深刻地呈現出來的功力實在使人折服。我願意把書借給想看的朋友，可是這樣幽郁的小書，我不想當禮物送給誰，只是陰天已夠 depressing 罷?


Background Music: La chanson de Slogan – The Kills

Christian ROCKS!!! Project Runway (Season 4) [Mike Teavee]

*Spoiler Warning

Let's be honest, I'm just one fat helpless addict of reality shows.

Project Runway Season 4 definitely knocks everybody’s socks off. Though I had to admit my love for Chris' bizarre tastes (even he really was over his top in the final collection that some pieces were actually very very costumey) over Rami's more classy, wearable seams; Rami did manage to put together a collection of well-executed women’s wear – like he said, a collection which celebrates feminity.

BUT the winner is – Christian Siriano!


Christian has been my favorite since day 1 of the competition, his first look reminds me of the Vivienne Westwood silhouette (be it the plaids or the uneven construction or the earthy tone). He is the one and only one who had consistently showed a strong statement of who he is as a designer through pieces in the season.

My personal choice of style is usually more the “less is more” school; yet the vision that Christian reflected is very compelling, it's always loud and strong and provocative. The point here though is – of course we lead a life in reality wearing everyday nothing dramatic, at the bottom of our heart however there for good is some kind of fantasy where the passion lies, and Christian is just that fabulous in realizing the sparks and dreams and dared to rock the world by revealing what it is within all of us.


Isn't fashion about fantasy, about flight of the imagination baby?!


Rami surely is a miracle draping artist who constantly create delicate art pieces, only he's too safe and I can't see him fitting into the history of fashion with a groundbreaking piece. Jillian is my second favorite in the show who kept bringing in impressive, surprising pieces (including some funky capes, trench coats that I absolutely would be thrilled to wear) yet she definitely needs to work on building up a unique and consistent trademark style as a designer; as for the moment though, she is only putting together a fun wardrobe which lacks cohesion and carries no brand identity.

I can see Rami working for Oscar de la Renta and Jillian working for Burberry Prorsum. But Christian! I like quoting Michael Kors' saying in the eleventh episode "he understands how to make clothes that are emotional in a fashion show that can be taken apart and work in real life" isn't that a clever learn from Alexander McQueen? He is so all-rounded, be it outfit for a wrestling diva or an Avant-Garde piece or a huge makeover with an outdated outfit… he immediately got a perfect idea of what works and what doesn't in split seconds! It is this versatility that makes him such a star!

Only his collection in the final episode resembles an established high fashion brand runway show (despite the fact that it reminds me of the recent seasons of Balenciaga… also a bit of Miu Miu / Prada…). However cocky and arrogant he might be, he never looks stupid or sick for his pride comes from the confidence (which is very understandable), even his fellow designers genuinely appreciate his talent, and that’s all it takes to the crown (plus, he is SO FREAKING YOUNG!!!).


On the designers' daily wear

My favorite would be Kit's sweet punk / Lolita looks; her shiny blonde hair and ribbon accessories make her impeccably adorable. Having noticed her carrying around a Vivienne Westwood bag most of the time, to me her style has been very Japanese “Kawaii” – which in fact is quite hard to strike a balance especially when you are no longer 18, but then her delivery is just right to the point.


Carmen's hairstyle is edgy and eye-catching, as an ex-model, I like that unique style of hers.











In real life however, Christian's look would be the closest to mine – for I bloody LOVE waistcoat, necklaces, cowboy boots, skinny jeans and colors sooooooooooooooooooo much! Kevin’s rock star look’s also my favorite (it was heartbreaking for him to be sent home so early!).


What I don't really get yet would be (1) how on earth can Jillian run in those 6-inch high heels all day long (she looks fantastically chic and elegant though)? (2) how come Ricky always look like a gay stripper in the hats he designed for himself?


Background Music: Hated Because Of Great Qualities – Blonde Redhead